http://www.whatsnextblog.com/archives/2009/10/10_things_social_media_cant_do.asp

Daily Fresh

Breaking News from Twitter: Patrick Swayze is dead. Wait, no he’s alive. No, he’s dead. No, alive.
Breaking news from Twitter: don’t believe half of what you read on Twitter.
Craigslist opens a can of whoop ass on South Carolina
GPS needs fixin’ ASAP

Apparently it’s What The Fuck Week over at Techcrunch. It would seem that there is so little going on in the tech world that Michael Arrington has at last found the time to write about his dislike of,  yes–handshaking. No, that was not  a typo. After a bizarre interlude of comparing handshaking to the Qwerty keyboard, Arrington feverishly declaims: “just like I don’t swap spit with everyone who walks into a room, I’d prefer not to swap germs via the ancient but disgusting habit of shaking hands, either”. He goes on to say he can live with his keyboard but could do without the handshake. One wishes it was the other way around.
As an added bonus Techcrunch is now noting at the top of this post that you can watch the bloggers live on Crunchcam. Um, thanks but no thanks. I have no desire to see watch Arrington fidgeting with his germ-ridden hands.

According to Seth Finkelstein, a heavily bearded man who writes for the Guardian, wins awards from the EFF, and opposes authority–Twitter is just another tool for the elites to keep the people down and reinforce the status quo.  Blogging was apparently another such tool, as were apparently all things invented since IRC.
So remember all  1.2 zillion of you bloggers, tweeters, facebookers and other corporate tools–there’s someone who’s on to your game, and he won’t get fooled again!

The Daily Fresh

Robot, what’s wrong? You don’t call or write anymore
Didn’t we already cover this?
Geez, it’s a slow day

There’s a bizarrely elegiac article up at TechCrunch claiming that Twitter is the new RSS.  In the end, I think this says more about Steve Gilmor’s obsessive relationship with electronic news gathering than it does about where the world is today.  After all, how many people think back on their intro to RSS in these terms:

“This disconnect drove me away from partial feeds and toward the new owners of the blogosphere — the deep information space of those feeds that respected the reader container. From NetNewsWire on the Mac to Bloglines to Google Reader, I swam in the brisk waters of the RSS river, only returning to the classic Web from links embedded in posts or email newsletters.”

The real story behind this article is how news is pushed to the mass of people who don’t obsessively build their own RSS feeds,  or work for blogs “dedicated to obsessively profiling products and companies in the Enterprise Technology space.” There’s a good point lost in here about how comment threads and realtime info from social media are replacing top-down news as the real value center for the average internet user, but really–this???

“The race for realtime is already won. Like the long shot in the Kentucky Derby, realtime has swept past the field as though the rest were sleep-walking. Realtime is the time for artists, for interpreting the stream and sending deeply nuanced signals with humor, music, respect for the dialogue but none for the chattering of the false debates of the cable networks.

This is the world RSS created. Now it needs to gracefully step back, blend into the scenery and find a new home in the rich depth we are looking for amid the noise. Decrying the tumult of realtime is a fool’s errand; it’s like complaining life is short. Instead, as Dylan said….”

That man gets no more drugs…

The Daily Fresh

Repeat after me…Not everything you read on Twitter is true
The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
Easy there geek squad, keep your pants on…
The White House goes all Web 2.0

Collective oohs and ahhs were heard yesterday around the virtual watercooler when it was suggested that a new larger format Kindle was to be released some time this week. ‘It will save the dying newspaper industry!’ claimed the masses. ‘It’s just the life preserver they need!’ exclaimed others. Golly gee wo–just think–no printing costs and you can charge for subscriptions…  Apparently, The New York Times is already onto this, and is promising a Kindl-ized paper will be on the way.  That may work out well for a global brand like the Times, but it seems to me everyone is missing a very obvious point. It’s not that people aren’t reading the local printed newspaper- people aren’t reading local newspapers at all. Take a quick survey of your friends and ask them what they read on a daily basis. I doubt the local paper or it’s website  are high up on their list.

The Daily Fresh

Oprah’s bored with Twitter which is great because I’m bored with her
Twitterers are quitters
Frenchie showed Twitter how it’s done and then blew smoke in their face
Slate finds it’s sense of humor

The Daily Fresh

Church is for Twitterers
Twitter is sending you to hell
YouTube is for idiots

And finally, Asheton Kutcher is at it again…don’t you have some videos to take?